just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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