HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
