I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize