i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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