The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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