Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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