We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
