whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
