he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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