I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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