I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
