smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize