Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
