Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
