Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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