I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
tequila makes me forget i have legs
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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