weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
