bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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