I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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