I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
