two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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