I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
