That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
