Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
