hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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