my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
