Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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