dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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