Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
