in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize