Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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