the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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