U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
