and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
