she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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