So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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