Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
