just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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