i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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