So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
