if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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