would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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