I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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