So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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