Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
