its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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