you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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