I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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