Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
