And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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