It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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