Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
