You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
