Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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