Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize