Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
