Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
