Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
