so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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