another moral hangover. fuck.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
