One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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