I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
