If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
