Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
