Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
