i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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