I'm really into asian looking animals
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just invented taco cereal.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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