Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
