i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she peed on how many people?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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