Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

im getting a BJ in a closet

(205): View more from Alabama

and a penguin just handed me a bong

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that

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(917): View more from New York City

He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now

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(904): View more from Florida

I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs

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(440): View more from Ohio

I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.

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(713): View more from Texas

I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."

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