how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
